The 40th anniversary of Star Wars is almost upon us. May 25, 1977 was the date of the original movie's theatrical release. In honor of this 40-year milestone, The Gaijin Ghost would like to share a special lyric video from the Sea Flats, a mock-rock act whose singer went on to become "big in Japan," as they say. After the jump, you can also read the original 500-word treatment for the unfilmed music video of the band's song "If I Could Live in the Movie Star Wars."
Treatment for the unfilmed music video:
The video begins with an extreme close-up of the face of Chief Chirpa—or rather, that of a Chief Chirpa action figure, from Kenner’s vintage line of Star Wars action figures. As the camera pulls back, we see that there is a hand holding Chief Chirpa, making the action figure bob along, as if it is walking on the floor.
Soon the camera pulls back more, and we see that it is Sea Flats singer Avery Brightbill, a full-grown man, playing with this action figure on his bedroom floor. Brightbill is surrounded by a whole collection of Star Wars action figures, including the old Ewok Village playset from Kenner.
As the chorus of the song starts up for the first time, Brightbill lies back on the floor in his pile of action figures, spreading his arms and legs, as though he were making a snow angel. This image is juxtaposed with picture-in-picture daydreams of him visiting the lifesize Ewok Village outside Star Tours in Florida’s Walt Disney World.
“Wish I could live in the movie Star Wars ...”
The post-chorus is a series of vignettes that show Brightbill living in his parents’ basement, riding his bicycle to work, etc. Clearly this is a lonely man, a 40-Year-Old-Virgin-type, who spends his free time playing with Star Wars figures.
At the start of the second verse, we hit the convention floor at Star Wars Celebration. Brightbill is now dressed in the classic orange-and-white X-Wing pilot costume, and he is flanked by Sea Flats guitarist Tito McCrum and Sea Flats bassist Ash Treebeard.
McCrum, who has always had a certain Daft-Punk-esque mystique about him, continues the trend of strategically concealing his face by wearing a full-on Chewbacca costume. For his part, Treebeard is rocking Lando Calrissian’s skiff guard disguise from Return of the Jedi.
As the three band members move forward along the convention floor, performing their song, other Star Wars cosplayers turn to see what all the hubbub is. Slowly but surely, people start following along behind the Sea Flats, joining in on the chorus. Eventually the camera pulls back in a crane shot to show the whole convention center singing.
“If I could live in the movie Star Wars ...”
The last part of the song, beginning with “She’s Luke’s twin sister, it’s true, it’s true,” offers a sort of whirlwind fanboy-meets-fangirl love story. After everyone has gone back to doing what they were doing on the convention floor, Brightbill encounters a fetching female cosplayer in Leia’s slave bikini.
Unsheathing a plastic lightsaber (while holding it out in front of him in a phallic fashion, of course) he quickly wows her with his lightsaber moves. They fall in love, and he strips off his X-Wing pilot costume, donating it to a fellow convention nerd who remains single. Then he changes into Han Solo’s vest, and rides off with her on the back of his bicycle.
Brightbill had this to say about the greatest Star Wars video that never was:
“I would’ve also liked to see a scene where the Sea Flats were in a conference room at the convention center, hosting a small panel to teach other Star Wars fans how to sing the song. In my mind’s eye, I see a group of Star Wars cosplayers sitting at conference table, their heads all turned the same way, looking up at a whiteboard. And I can very much see myself standing up in front of the whiteboard in that X-Wing pilot costume, with the words to the chorus written on the whiteboard, and with me using a marker to help my dutiful padawan learners follow along with the lyrics.
“As it is, fans will just have to settle for the lyric video. My only regret is that the lyric crawl does not synch up with the singing better.”
Finally, budgetary concerns over the original music video idea led to the genesis of an alternate concept, in which the main character never leaves his parents’ backyard. In this version, Brightbill can only gain wish fulfillment by acting out his beach-hero fantasies in scenarios involving action figures. One such scenario would have seen the long-simmering twincest between Luke and Leia bubble over after he arouses her with the sight of a slain Wampa.
It has been over a decade now since the Sea Flats last performed live for an audience. But their music will live on ... among the stars.
“If I Could Live in the Movie Star Wars” is dedicated to the vast subculture of Star Wars fans around the world. Wherever you are, whichever character you identify with—be it Duped Sandtrooper or the Rancor Keeper—may the Force be with you.
Happy 40th anniversary, Star Wars!